Mwalimu Juliana

I'm happily living in my HUGE house here in the southern highlands of Tanzania. I have plenty of bucket space to collect rainwater, which I'm very happy about as it means I don't have to carry water or coerce my students into carrying it for me (it wouldn't really be coercion because students do whatever teachers say, except do hw it seems, but I wouldn't be comfortable having the students do my chores or run errands for me). I'm very glad for my electricity because of my electric kettle -- it means I can have a hot cup fo tea when I get cold and I don't have to worry about starting my charcoal to boil my drinking water or make oatmeal! The only thing I really wish for is that they insulated buildings here; I already get cold inside and the cold season doesn't start until June. I know layering and drinking hot tea will keep me warm, but I'm not used to that as I haven't been at home with my parents much in the winter when they refuse to turn up the thermostat. A teacher recently told me that in the cold season it gets hard to teach because your hands are so cold it's hard to hold and use chalk...Anyways, school has started and I'm glad becasue I had begun to feel restless without anything to do except eat, read, write, visit neighbors, cook, and do yoga.

I teach all of one grade, which works out to 4 80min blocks 3 days a week. Mon-Wed I'm really busy and then thurs and Friday I sit around the staff room grading, journaling, reading, writing letters, and using the school computer (to type emails, blogposts, etc. like this!). Teaching that much is more exhausting than I expected, but since I teach the same material (though at different paces) my prep time isn't bad. I think what's most exhausting is when it feels like I'm talking to a wall. 2 of my classes participate, even occasionally ask questions, and are fairly engaged, but the other 2 drive me up the wall with their blank looks and refusal to answer even simple questions. A part of that is cultural, as the education system and teaching style here is based almost exclusively on lecturing and rote learning/memorization. The teachers also barely participate during staff meetings, and in general people tend to keep their heads down and mumble (if they talk at all) when an authority figure asks something of them. I do get frustrated and have started setting an alarm to be to sure I don't sleep late, but sometimes I leave the classroom considering teaching at home and sometimes I leave swearing that I'll never teach in an official capacity after PC. I recently gave a weekly test and felt really demoralized after grading them because of how little so many of them knew, plus how many of them made the same mistakes they had made on HW that I had so strenuously pointed out were wrong. But another time I finished a class early and they kept me for 40min asking questions about the US and the world, etc. It was great! But as for the math...well, the average grade of my 170 students on the national exam they took last year was a 12. Yes, 12 out of 100. 12%. So, few of them should even be taking what I'm supposed to teach, but the rules changed recently so that even if a student fails all of her/his exams s/he can still move on. Fun, eh? The highest average on any of the exams was a 59%. A part of me wants to start teaching the form1 material and just see how far I get -- and I'll probably teach the same students next year so I'd be trying to do 4 years' worth in 2 -- but I'm just not sure if that's a good idea or not! I mean, the first time I stood in front of a class was about a month ago, what do I know?! I think some type of review class for everyone would be ideal, but I'm not sure how to set that up or even if I'd be able to hand that much extra effort! Discipline isn't really a problem, a few students come late or ask to leave or fall asleep/don't take notes, but nobody's been disruptive so far. Few did the HW I assigned, so I decided to stop assignin it because grading's so much work and they don't put any effort into it -- not many hand anything in and most that do just copy. I make up optional problems and an answer key for those students who want to do it. I've threatened consequences for various offenses, but I have yet to actually give any out. There's no way I'm going to be the cause of physical abuse, though maybe I'll assign physical labor (technicaly corporal punishment). I'm currently trying to organize detention for about 50 students but their schedules are so regulated that it's tough to find a time other than after dinner -- time that i'm not sure i'm willing to give up! Overall, though, I'm happy and excited to be here.

I'm hoping to start a math club for the handful of my students who do their work and are invested in math/school in general -- I'm thinking we could look at who uses math in real life as well as just doing fun math and logic puzzles. I'd also like to do some health work, either a club or some events to talk about HIV/AIDs, nutrition, hygeine, and other aspects of health. A PC suggestion that sounds good to me is to work directly with older students and then have them teach younger ones and/or the wider community. Some kind of forum for students (and maybe teachers, too) to ask me about the States and get them thinking about the wider world in general would be awesome, but I know I'll have to pick and choose since I can only do so much. My last (so far) idea is to try to get grant money to start a computer lab, and then work with both students and teachers so they can learn basic skills. Many students see a computer for the first time when they go to secondary school (we have one for teachers and the secretaries to use, what I'm using to type this) and have never used one. Tanzanians are amazed at how fast I type, but at home it's nothing special. Oh, and I've been asked to help get books for the school library -- though I've been trying to organize the books they do have since school opened in Jan but it has yet to be "cleaned" so I haven't been able to start.

I recently learned that I can eat student food, so I've gotten lunch at the kitchen all this week. Previously I had been told that I couldn't eat there, that I could but it was bad food so I shouldn't, and that the teacher on duty was required to eat there and nobody else could. Turns out that I, and any teacher, can eat there anytime, but most teachers don't out of pride. There's porridge for breakfast and ugali and beans for lunch and dinner; once a week there's rice, occasionally there may be meat, and a few times a week there are vegetables mixed in with the beans. Since beans are the most annoying to cook and, along with rice, are my main source of protein, I am extremely happy to lunch at school! The only problem is that when I'm faced with free food (not literally, because there's no such thing as a free lunch =) but free of my labor, time and money) I want to take advantage of it and so I've pretty much been stuffing my face. Some days I've had a bit of fruit for dinner (apples, pineapple, mango, peaches, pears), but my stomach is fine if I don't eat until the next morning. I think I had lost a bit of weight (or washing my clothes by hand simply stretched them out) but now I may follow the trend of female PCVs gaining weight at site. Oh well, as long as I'm happy and healthy, hamna shida! I also started getting milk delivered twice a week, which is delicious for rice pudding, hot cocoa, or just heated up (I was recently taught about putting some honey in warm milk and that is DELICIOUS). It'll definitely take time for me to readjust to skim when I get home, but at less than 50cents a liter (approximately, as I'm not up to date on the exchange rate) for fresh, organic milk from my neighbor's cow, I wont complain. And if that isn't enough reason for you to visit, then I don't know what is...

Wearing skirts hasn't annoyed me nearly as much as I thought it would (though last week I put on jeans and a tank top, found American music on the radio, and danced around my house sining all afternoon in my own private rejection of Tanzanian culture and its pervasive sexism). As a white foreigner and a teacher I am usually given a lot of respect, so I've seen more than experienced the overt sexism here. However, I have been in situations where I had to resist being rude and sarcastic, using unncessarily large words, or giving in to the desire to try my hand at being a charlie's angel. In other news, my spelling ability has gone from bad to atrocious, which I blame on phonetic Kiswahili. And I frequently speak incorrect English with odd intonation these days, to make it simpler and easier for those around me to understand, so I apologize in advance if my writing or speaking makes you cringe. The entire country seems to have learned some grammar and phrases incorrectly, which is hilarious on the one hand but frustrating as well as a shame on the other. But since students learn English from non-native speakers who are not usually competant themselves, it's no surprise. I was able to watch Obama's inauguration, which I was VERY happy about. My neighbors had invited me over to watch it (they have satellite... though no comedy central), but the morning of the inauguration the electricity went out in the whole village. After school, I sat at home reading and bemoaning the fact that the internet cafe in town doesn't let you watch youtube videos. I went over to my neighbors' at 6pm (10am EST) even though the electricity wasn't back, because that's when I had heard coverage would start. I sat in the dark with my 6year old friend for an hour and then just after 7 the lights flickered on! We found a Tz channel that was broadcasting CNN live, so I got to watch both Bushs, the Clintons, and a few other VIPs walk to their seats as well as hear the speeches and oaths. The house being built next door to me is almost finished (exactly the same as mine, will also be teacher housing), and a few weeks ago they were putting on the tin roof... i didn't realize this and walked outside in my SMALL travel towel to go take a shower...oops. i just ignored the guys on the roof, and while i hope they did the same, my white thighs may have made an impression. I'll be going to a conference center for some more training with a bunch of other pcvs in a few weeks, and i'm looking forward to seeing lots of friends but am wondering how we're all going to deal with being around americans all the time as well as losing the total independence we've had for the past 3 months. We'll see!Thanks for all the letters, emails, packages, cards! I love it all, so please continue to spoil me! **if you don't write pcv or peace corps volunteer on a package then i have to pay customs fees.... so please remember it, thanks!!**